Tom Bruett

Vegan Therapists in California and Colorado

About

Hi, I’m Tom.

I’d love to help you become your most authentic self.
When you can let down your walls and become your authentic self-true intimacy is possible.

Letting down your walls

Growing up as a gay man in this culture, I know a thing or two about hiding. Hiding a part of yourself is like falling asleep on a commuter train. You wake up realizing you’ve missed your stop. And now you’re in the wrong career or an unfulfilling relationship. Whatever your age, gender, race or sexual orientation hiding a part of yourself can be stifling and it can get in the way of building more authentic and meaningful relationships.

As someone who has gone through the painful process of divorce, done a ton of self-work and found love again, I can tell you that wherever you are in the process there is hope. And you don’t have to do it alone.

And using the commuter train analogy, sometimes to get where you want to go you need to take a different, unconventional route. That’s what I discovered.

Developing relationships

I’m a relational therapist, not a mmm-hmm-how-does-that-make-you-feel-type-therapist? I offer feedback and a perspective to shake you from your stuck patterns. I’ll encourage you to be honest with yourself and look deeper. Often with some very honest questions.

Facing vulnerability together

Through working together I help you get in touch with those parts of yourself that you may have been ignoring. Together we’ll find fresh solutions to face your vulnerabilities and put yourself out there again. By believing in you, my aim is to help you believe in yourself.

My Approach

My approach is patient, warm, and expressive. I’m not afraid of humor, anger or tears. Even if they happen all at the same time.

When we meet, you’ll experience someone who is curious about you and genuinely interested in helping you achieve your goals.

Our sessions will feel like a conversation, and I will actively, passionately be engaged in helping you better understand your emotions and needs.

My role is to see your potential for growth, even if you’re not able to now.

And if you also love a good Sondheim patter song. We can mess up the lyrics together.

Relationship Therapy

Relationship therapy is right for you if…

• You find yourself fighting more frequently and not feeling seen or understood.
• There’s a distance growing between you and your partner and you’re not sure how to bridge the gap.
• Your sex life has fallen off a cliff and that’s not working for you.

Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re in a lot of pain right now.

I’ve helped hundreds of couples over the past decade create more meaningful, connected and authentic relationships. I see myself as part therapist, coach and teacher. I’ve trained extensively in the art of helping people improve their relationships with couples therapy pioneers  Dr. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson.

I provide affirmative relationship counseling online for those living in the states of the California or Colorado. And in person at my office in the Highlands northwest area of Denver, Colorado.

Heal the betrayal

A betrayal or breach of trust in your relationship can be devastating. If there has been a discovery of infidelity, whether sexual, emotional or financial my guess is you probably feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath you. The good news is that you can move through the pain and your relationship can come out stronger than ever. But it will take some time and hard work.

Communication Problems

Are you having trouble communicating?

Do you feel lonely and isolated in your relationship?

I help couples navigate through those roadblocks that get in the way of intimacy and connection. Chances are if you are willing to make some changes in the way you interact with your partner, you can drastically improve the way that you connect with your partner.

When the communication breaks down in your relationship, trust and closeness often disappear.

Let’s talk about sex

Has your sex life become non-existent? Is it hard to talk openly about what you really desire? Are there differences in your sexual wants or needs?

Over time, sex can ebb and flow in any relationship. However, it is important to be able to talk about and ask for what you need and want.

What will the sessions be like?

You may be nervous about beginning a process like relationship counseling. For some people it can be scary to share about the intimate thoughts and feelings you have about your partner.

I offer an opportunity to do things in a new way.

I will help you create a different conversation through direct feedback and focused therapy. In relationship counseling, you’ll break the stuck patterns you have with one another. When you can see and be seen, and hear and be heard, repair is possible and closeness can return.

If you’d like to hear more about what to expect from couples therapy with me, please check out this blog post and video about the topic.

Safety

My specialty is working with gay male couples. However, I have and do enjoy working with all type of relationships, especially other LGBTQ+ folks and those in open or polyamorous relationships. Whatever your relationship structure, my aim is to make you will feel welcome, understood, though at times, I will challenge you. If all that sounds good, then let’s find a time to talk and make sure I’m the right person to help.

I know it can be intimidating to start the process of couples therapy, however often times people will find relief soon and begin the journey to a happier more satisfying relationship.

I’m ready for relationship counseling but I still have some questions and concerns…

I’m not sure my partner will come to therapy.

It’s true that you can’t make your partner come in for therapy if they’re not willing. If this is concern for you, set up a consultation with me and we can strategize what the best plan of action may be. Perhaps if you lay out why this step is important for your relationship your partner will listen.

What if counseling makes things worse?

It is a common concern that bringing things up in couples counseling may make things worse. You are certainly not alone in that fear. However, by speaking the truth and learning new tools you can have tough conversations and heal the past.

What if it doesn’t work?

Yes, it’s scary to think about what if couples therapy doesn’t make things better. It’s a big commitment and investment of time and energy. For a thought experiment, think for a moment about what it will be like if couples counseling DOES work. Imagine how much stronger your relationship can become. Imagine if you stop having that same fight and you can be close and connected.

We’re not a gay male couple, would we still be a good fit to work together?

That depends. Are you motivated? Are you ready to have some risky, powerful conversations? If you answered yes to all the above, then we might be a good fit to work together. Let’s find a time for a consultation and I will be completely honest about whether or not I’m the best person to help. If I’m not, I have many incredible colleagues I can refer you to.

You can heal your relationship

While it will take commitment, you can improve the way talk to each other, increase intimacy and gain tools to have the relationship you crave.