Tony Hardy, MBACP

Vegan Counselor in Wales

Life is hard!

​Life throws challenges at us on a daily basis. We are not always well-equipped to deal with these challenges. Often we don’t have the support we need, or we think we have to face our challenges alone.

But we don’t have to face them on our own. Counselling offers a way of tackling our issues by talking about them to a qualified professional, in a safe and supportive environment, and working towards making positive changes in our lives.

Welcome to shine counselling. Please explore my site to find out how I can help you.

ABOUT ME

Tony Hardy MBACP, Registered Counsellor

I qualified with a Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling from Coleg Gwent and, prior to founding shine counselling, I completed over 200 client hours as a volunteer counsellor with a cognitive assistance programme and a mental health charity.

​I have worked successfully with male and female clients aged from 17 to 75, presenting with depression, anxiety, stress, loss, low confidence and self-esteem, eating disorders, trauma, anger issues, and survivors of domestic abuse and childhood sexual abuse.

I studied Systemic Theory and Practice (family therapy) at the University of Bath and have just been awarded a Post-Graduate Diploma in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy at the University of South Wales in Newport.

I have regularly attended training events in areas as diverse as Online Counselling, Suicide Intervention, Domestic Abuse, Child Abuse, Couples Counselling, Eating Disorders, Creative Writing in the Therapeutic Encounter, Emotional Freedom Therapy, Mindfulness and Chanting for Inner Peace.

I am a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).

WHY SHINE?

Like many counsellors, I have been on my own journey from a dark place to where I am today. Counselling was fundamental to my own recovery. It allowed me to discover the real me, to believe in myself and my own abilities, and to realise my full potential: it allowed me to shine. I draw upon my own experience where it is appropriate to my clients. I help them rediscover the strengths and resources that they have, that we all have, and I help them create a future for themselves where they too can shine.

MY SERVICES

I offer one-to-one counselling sessions where I provide a warm, safe and nonjudgmental environment in which you can talk about whatever is troubling you. I prefer to work face-to-face with clients, but I am also able to offer online or telephone counselling  if it is not possible to meet in person. I work with many of life’s difficulties, including depression, anxiety, stress, loss, low confidence and self-esteem, eating disorders, trauma, anger, domestic abuse, childhood and adult sexual abuse and relationship issues.

I am now also able to offer couples counselling and family therapy to clients experiencing difficulty in their relationships. I offer clinical supervision to practicing counsellors and psychotherapists. My practice is regularly supervised, and operates within the BACP Ethical Framework. I look forward to working with you and helping you realise whatever it is you hope to achieve from counselling.

FACE-TO-FACE COUNSELLING

I work integratively, pulling together techniques from various counselling modalities in a coherent fashion. The person-centred approach of Carl Rogers is at the core of my practice. This means the client is at the centre of everything I do: the client knows himself far better than anyone else does.

The counsellor invites the client to explore himself and his issues, and facilitates him coming to his own realisations and conclusions, at his own pace and depth. The client-counsellor relationship is the single most important aspect of all the work I do with my clients.

Whilst counselling is first and foremost a talking therapy, I like to work creatively, with whiteboard and flip charts, and props such as buttons and mood cards. I bring creative writing and guided readings into my practice for clients who prefer to express themselves in this way.

I usually begin with a shorter first session (free) either in person or on the phone to establish whether we are happy to work together. The sessions after that last one hour and are usually weekly.

ABOUT ONLINE COUNSELLING

I have recently undertaking training in Online Counselling and I am pleased to be offering this as an option to clients who cannot, or do not wish to, attend face-to-face counselling.

Online Counselling is where the client and the therapist develop a therapeutic relationship online, rather than in person. It can take the form of telephone counselling sessions, video-conferencing using free software such as Zoom, or even counselling via the exchange of texts or emails. Security features of Zoom and encrypted emails ensure confidentiality and peace of mind.

Online Counselling gives the client greater flexibility around how and when therapy is delivered, removes the need to travel to the therapist’s premises, which can be problematic for some clients, and allows clients to have therapy in the comfort and familiar surroundings of their own home. Clients often find Online Counselling less daunting or intimidating than face-to-face counselling and are therefore more able to open up to their therapist.

Some prefer using the written word over talking about their issues. Counsellors trained in online therapy, denied the intimacy or visual cues available in face-to-face work, learn to be more attentive using the non-visual senses available to them.

Online Counselling may be able to help with a wide range of issues including anxiety, stress, depression, eating difficulties, isolation and loneliness, relationship problems, bereavement, self-esteem, confidence, anger, sexual orientation, discrimination and many more. There are, of course, some client presentations that are not suitable for online work. These include clients with suicidal presentations, clients with an active substance misuse, clients suffering from acute trauma or PTSD, clients experiencing abuse, and some other more complex presentations.

Some clients may not have access to appropriate technology or be less comfortable than others with using it. They may suffer from dyslexia, learning difficulties or sight, speech or hearing impairments, in which case face-to-face sessions might be more appropriate. Suitability for Online Counselling is something we would discuss during our initial consultation. In some cases, I may recommend face-to-face counselling or make a referral to a more appropriate service provider or practitioner.

ABOUT THE I WE WORK ONLINE

I provide Online Counselling opportunities that endeavour to create a supportive, non-judgmental environment in which you will be given time and space to understand and gain insight into your situation. This process can foster growth and lead to positive change in your life.

Online Counselling is different to face-to-face work as misunderstandings may occur due to a lack of facial expressions and tone of voice. We should agree to think the best of each other and then try to express how we are feeling. In the event of a misunderstanding arising for either party, it is advisable that we seek to clarify the cause of any miscommunication. To this end, clients may find that their counsellor asks more questions than he might during face-to-face work. This is in order to seek a clearer view of your difficulty or to clarify a misunderstanding in our communication.

You may find that he pays more attention to your tone of voice, the inflections in your speech, how you pace your dialogue, how you use silence, your breathing, than he might during face-to-face counselling, especially if we are talking on the phone rather than using video. Your counsellor might be more deliberate in how he speaks, use more precise language, he might emphasise or describe any non-verbal cues that he is using. Please do not be intimidated or put off by any of this – this is how Online Counsellors are trained to compensate for the lack of, or reduced amount of, visual cues that are so useful in face-to-face counselling.

You might find that you have less inhibitions during Online Counselling than in face-to-face work, which might lead you to disclosing more than you are comfortable with or disclosing sensitive material earlier in the relationship than you might want to. This is perfectly natural, and Online Counsellors are trained to deal with this. Your counsellor will always treat everything you say in confidence and with empathy and respect.

The body of research evidence, although limited at present, suggests that Online Counselling can be at least as effective as face-to-face counselling for working with a wide range of client presentations, andweI look forward to working with our clients in the most effective way for their own particular circumstances.

WHAT DOES THE SERVICE OFFER?

• Counselling by email or text. Shine Counselling does not currently offer counselling via email or text. I may contact you by email or text between sessions, for example to arrange or reschedule appointments. I will use encrypted email (protonmail) if any sensitive information is exchanged.
• Counselling by telephone. I will call you at the appointed time and we will talk on the phone for the duration of the session, which is usually 1 hour. I will call from a private room free of interruptions and disable any other phone functionality so that we are not distracted.

I will never record our sessions, and trust that you won’t either. I will use a headset and microphone so that there is no possibility of you being overheard by anyone else (and, of course, the room is private) and so that your counsellor can hear you more clearly. Ideally you will be able to do the same, although this is not essential. Should we be cut off during the session, I will call you back and attempt to reconnect. Should this not be possible, I will rearrange the remainder of the session for another time.

• Video counselling. If you would prefer ‘live’ online video counselling appointments, we would use free software called Zoom, which many clients will already be familiar with from using it during lockdown for online meetings or family catch-ups. You would need to download this software if you don’t already have it. I will email you with a hyperlink and a password to a Zoom session for the appointed time, which again is usually 1 hour.

The link is only valid for use by the two of us for the duration of our session, so that nobody else can accidentally enter the session. When you join the zoom session, your video camera will be turned off and your microphone will be muted: it is your choice if and when to enable video and/or audio. Everything that applies to phone counselling around privacy, recording and use of headsets also applies to video counselling.

Should we be cut off during the Zoom session, I will, in the first instance, attempt to re-establish the Zoom meeting. If I am unable to do so, I will call you back and attempt to complete the session by phone. Should this not be possible, the remainder of the session will be rearranged for another time.

COUPLES COUNSELLING

I am delighted to now be able to offer couples counselling for clients experiencing difficulty in their relationship.

The way I work with couples is quite different to how I work with individual clients, since the three-way dynamic in the therapy room is naturally very different to the one-to-one situation. The couples therapist is typically much more directive and actively involved, mediating between both members of the couple and ensuring that each has equal opportunity to speak (and, more importantly, listen) to their partner.

​The model I use for couples work is based on Transactional Analysis. This theoretical framework is based on the idea that two people communicate with each other from one of three ego states: Parent, Adult or Child. The ideal situation is an Adult-to-Adult transaction where both parties have their needs met. Problems occur when transactions take place between mixed ego states, or when the transactions are inconsistent with the ego state the two parties are in.

This leaves one or other of the parties’ with unmet needs and often results in ‘game playing’ to get those needs met. The role of the therapist is to observe what games are being played, to identify what unhelpful behaviours are being acted out to perpetuate the game playing, and to model more helpful behaviours in order to break the destructive cycle which is preventing the relationship from working.

​Couples counselling can move more slowly that 1:1 therapy and the counsellor has to provide a safe space for both partners and ensure each has equal opportunity to express their concerns and is equally heard both by the therapist and the other partner. The dynamics of couples counselling is typically more complex than 1:1 work and there are more pieces in the jigsaw that the therapist has to put together. The therapist assumes greater control over the process than in (person-centred) individual work, and may ask the couple to use goal-setting, or set them homework between sessions.

​As when working with individuals, I offer an initial consultation (around 1 hour) to see if we are a good fit for each other. We may meet weekly (for 90 minutes) thereafter, although it is not uncommon for the gap between sessions to be longer (e.g., 2 weeks) than it is for individual work. The therapist may also occasionally ask to work with one or other of the couple individually rather than both together.